What MYC Did - Emotional Impact
In my last blog, I stuck to facts. This is what MYC said, this is what I wanted, this is how they responded. I didn't really go into the emotional side of it all because I didn't want the blog to get confusing and detract from the content. But as I've been stewing over what happened, I need to share what they did, how it really affected me.
Firstly, I told you of how I immediately didn't want to go in alone because there would be two workers present. I was scared because how did I know my words wouldn't be twisted? How did I know this wasn't an excuse to silence me or to feed a false narrative? It hit me that I haven't just suffered a professional issue but personal, this MYC thing is not just reputation, or volunteering, or missing out on opportunities, but a massive breach of trust. I didn't feel safe attending alone because what they did and their inability to account for it hurt me, and it still does.
In my head, I had an idea of how the meeting would go, the points I would raise, the counterarguments they would come up. And yes, in the meeting, I did raise the points I wanted to, but I didn't expect it to be so emotional. Everyone who knows me would assume it would be a walk in the park: I am outgoing, confident, and able to make my point. But in the meeting, I was so nervous, anxious, and really upset. When making some of my points, I surprised myself with how emotional I sounded.
Part of me is annoyed about it - could I not have gathered myself enough for one hour? Factoring in that it was the first day of Ramadan too for me, it was a very tough day. Yet part of me is glad, MYC should see how much this whole situation has affected me, because hiding it makes it worse for me and doesn't reflect what they've done to me as well as countless other young people. I was shaking in the meeting because of how I felt and I honestly didn't expect to be so physically affected.
I'm sharing this even though it's extremely vulnerable because even someone like me who is perceived as confident and outgoing felt like this when meeting the organisation responsible for the mistreatment suffered. It made me understand why so many people did not go forward with their complaints and share them because it's very tough.
I don't see the point in hiding the emotional turmoil of this because I know so many other young people going through this too, who have been scared to speak out. The thing is, I now have tangible actions that I'm chasing MYC over, to ensure changes are being made. That keeps me going because I can use my experience to save other young people from this mistreatment, at least at this organisation.
#myexperience #myc #youthmistreatment #manchesteryouthcouncil #britishyouthcouncil #byc #youngpeople #organisations #youthorganisations
Comentários